Planning the care of your aging parents

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As your parents or loved ones age, sooner or later you may need to actively step in to assist. Some of the telltale signs that help may be needed include:

  • Your loved ones start losing weight.
  • They stop washing their hair or clothing, or otherwise ignore personal hygiene.
  • They show a change in behavior.
  • They no longer do things that they used to find pleasurable, or they leave the house less often.
  • They drink more alcohol. • They leave piles of unpaid bills on their desk, or they otherwise mishandle finances.
  • They let food grow moldy in the refrigerator, or they leave their home untidy in other ways.
  • They start walking unsteadily.

Important first steps

Immediately open a line of communication with your parents' health care providers so you can discuss your concerns. Even if you live far away, you can get contact information for your parents' care team and other local resources that can help.

Before you get to a point where your parents can no longer make decisions for themselves, it’s important to discuss their wishes and make sure the necessary legal documents have been drawn up. This includes an up-to-date will, a durable power of attorney, a living will, and a health care proxy.

For more information on advance care planning, call 269.983.8166

Defining your limits

Many adult children find their first steps into caregiving responsibilities are like walking into quicksand. If you don't manage your time well or haven't planned in advance, you can become stuck in never-ending obligations, like daily chores and care, handling legal or financial issues, or lining up health care providers.

Decide what you can reasonably do to help. Stick with that plan. Get help for other needs as they arise.

Take care of yourself. Get exercise, get enough sleep, pay attention to your diet, and go to support group meetings for caregivers.

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