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Surviving grief during the pandemic and after

Lory's Place is here to support you in person or virtually with articles, tips, and activities that will help you on your grief journey.

If you are grieving a death and think a support group might be for you, please contact us at 269.983.2707. We’re always here and available to listen. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for more grief content, and you can always find us at lorysplace.org
 

 

Your grief healing blog

Apr 01, 2022 Reporting from Niles, MI
Apr 01, 2022
It’s not too late

It’s not too late

SpectrumHealth Lakeland

One of the most difficult things for mourners to overcome is the sense that grief must be temporary. When we are separated from a death, either in distance or in time, many of us think it is simply “too late” to mourn.  We think it is too late to say goodbye, too late to wrestle with feelings of regret, and sometimes we even think it’s too late to confess our love.

But nothing could be further from the truth. It’s never too late to grieve.  It’s never too late to mourn. Some people believe that there is a limited window of time in which it is proper to grieve, and after that amount of time passes, we should have “gotten over” the impact of death. The cultural pressure to downplay grief can be so strong that even people who grieve victims of atrocities can be criticized for not “getting over” the deaths involved in such events. “Wasn’t that a long time ago?” someone might suggest.  They may also say things like “You need to just deal with it and move on!” or “I had no idea!  Is that really still bothering you?”  

The good news is that to such persons we can always respond: “There is no time stamp on grief.” There is nothing about the day, the seasons, the months, or the year that confirms when mourning should cease. Grief can affect people in places and times far removed from where the death occurred. Thus, it can never really come “too late.” It’s never too late to visit a family gravesite, plant flowers at a sacred shrine or build a memorial in remembrance. It’s never too late to bond with another survivor, to learn grandma’s favorite hobby or prepare grandpa’s favorite meal.  It’s never too late to (finally) organize that photo album, go on that family vacation, make, and create those new life memories, or preserve precious artifacts from old ones.  Remember, it is not our proximity to the death that ultimately matters. It’s the death’s significance in our lives that does.

There is nothing about the seasons, or the equinoxes, or the sun or the moon, that has any bearing on when the time is right for mourning. And if you are mourning the death of a loved one, no matter how much time has elapsed since they lived, then know that Lory’s Place is here for you. Lory’s Place offers ongoing groups that meet during the evening for adults and children. Please call 269.983.2707 for more information.

It’s not too late
by Lenee Imler | Apr 01, 2022    Share


One of the most difficult things for mourners to overcome is the sense that grief must be temporary. When we are separated from a death, either in distance or in time, many of us think it is simply “too late” to mourn.  We think it is too late to say goodbye, too late to wrestle with feelings of regret, and sometimes we even think it’s too late to confess our love.

But nothing could be further from the truth. It’s never too late to grieve.  It’s never too late to mourn. Some people believe that there is a limited window of time in which it is proper to grieve, and after that amount of time passes, we should have “gotten over” the impact of death. The cultural pressure to downplay grief can be so strong that even people who grieve victims of atrocities can be criticized for not “getting over” the deaths involved in such events. “Wasn’t that a long time ago?” someone might suggest.  They may also say things like “You need to just deal with it and move on!” or “I had no idea!  Is that really still bothering you?”  

The good news is that to such persons we can always respond: “There is no time stamp on grief.” There is nothing about the day, the seasons, the months, or the year that confirms when mourning should cease. Grief can affect people in places and times far removed from where the death occurred. Thus, it can never really come “too late.” It’s never too late to visit a family gravesite, plant flowers at a sacred shrine or build a memorial in remembrance. It’s never too late to bond with another survivor, to learn grandma’s favorite hobby or prepare grandpa’s favorite meal.  It’s never too late to (finally) organize that photo album, go on that family vacation, make, and create those new life memories, or preserve precious artifacts from old ones.  Remember, it is not our proximity to the death that ultimately matters. It’s the death’s significance in our lives that does.

There is nothing about the seasons, or the equinoxes, or the sun or the moon, that has any bearing on when the time is right for mourning. And if you are mourning the death of a loved one, no matter how much time has elapsed since they lived, then know that Lory’s Place is here for you. Lory’s Place offers ongoing groups that meet during the evening for adults and children. Please call 269.983.2707 for more information.

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Home Activities

Here are some creative grief activities for adults, children or families that can be done at home.

Forget Me Not Activity (PDF)

Memory Mask Activity (PDF)

Positive Post-Its Activity (PDF)

Questions from Quarantine Activity (PDF)

Support Chain Activity (PDF)

Wish Keeper Activity (PDF)

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