Apr 18, 2024 Reporting from Niles, MI
Apr 18, 2024
Apr 18, 2024
Aging and Grief
SpectrumHealth Lakeland
Aging and Grief
SpectrumHealth Lakeland
https://www.spectrumhealthlakeland.org/ResourcePackages/SpectrumHealth/assets/img/sh_white_logo.png
Jim was in his 70s when he lost his wife Clare to cancer. They had been married for 23 years, and he was struggling with her death. Along with caring for Clare, he was dealing with his own health issues. After her passing, he found it difficult to concentrate and keep track of his doctor's appointments and medicine. While he had friends and family nearby, he was reluctant to ask for help, thinking he should be able to handle things on his own. After all, he thought, he was on top of everything when Clare was alive.
Losing someone we love is never easy, no matter what stage of life we’re in. According to the Center for Grief and Trauma Therapy, however, older people have some unique struggles. If you’re an elder, you might identify with a few of these:
Elders experience the same struggles with grief as everyone else, but they can sometimes experience them more intensely.
Stress from grief can negatively impact physical health, adding to health issues that were already present.
Brain fog or a lack of focus caused by grief can exacerbate mental health problems, as well as make everyday details harder to deal with or keep track of.
Elders’ appetites sometimes decrease. Grief can make that even more so, increasing the chances of skipping meals.
With age comes the accumulation of losses of friends and family members, as well as other types of losses. Grief can compound and cause someone to struggle even more.
Isolation and loneliness are becoming more common among elders, and grief can make that worse, leading to negative health outcomes including premature death.
In addition, people in older generations may have grown up believing someone needs to “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” The belief that we need to deal with problems on our own may make it that much harder for grieving elders to reach out for help.
Healing our grief, however, requires us to connect with other people and be open to their help. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt wrote in his book, Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart, “Without a stabilizing support system of at least one other person, the odds are that you will have difficulty in doing this work of mourning. Healing requires an environment of empathy, caring, and gentle encouragement.” (p.39)
While elders may have some special struggles, a healthy path through grieving shares certain touchstones. First and foremost, be kind to and patient with yourself. Grieving and mourning are hard work, and we all have our own unique journey through grief.
Second, don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help. Sometimes that’s family and friends, and sometimes that’s the staff here at Lory’s Place. We offer support groups, Good Grief sessions, written and online material, and the opportunity to meet one-on-one with a bereavement coordinator. Please give us a call at 269.983.2707.
Aging and Grief
by
Trisha Pickett
|
Apr 18, 2024
Jim was in his 70s when he lost his wife Clare to cancer. They had been married for 23 years, and he was struggling with her death. Along with caring for Clare, he was dealing with his own health issues. After her passing, he found it difficult to concentrate and keep track of his doctor's appointments and medicine. While he had friends and family nearby, he was reluctant to ask for help, thinking he should be able to handle things on his own. After all, he thought, he was on top of everything when Clare was alive.
Losing someone we love is never easy, no matter what stage of life we’re in. According to the Center for Grief and Trauma Therapy, however, older people have some unique struggles. If you’re an elder, you might identify with a few of these:
Elders experience the same struggles with grief as everyone else, but they can sometimes experience them more intensely.
Stress from grief can negatively impact physical health, adding to health issues that were already present.
Brain fog or a lack of focus caused by grief can exacerbate mental health problems, as well as make everyday details harder to deal with or keep track of.
Elders’ appetites sometimes decrease. Grief can make that even more so, increasing the chances of skipping meals.
With age comes the accumulation of losses of friends and family members, as well as other types of losses. Grief can compound and cause someone to struggle even more.
Isolation and loneliness are becoming more common among elders, and grief can make that worse, leading to negative health outcomes including premature death.
In addition, people in older generations may have grown up believing someone needs to “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.” The belief that we need to deal with problems on our own may make it that much harder for grieving elders to reach out for help.
Healing our grief, however, requires us to connect with other people and be open to their help. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt wrote in his book, Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart, “Without a stabilizing support system of at least one other person, the odds are that you will have difficulty in doing this work of mourning. Healing requires an environment of empathy, caring, and gentle encouragement.” (p.39)
While elders may have some special struggles, a healthy path through grieving shares certain touchstones. First and foremost, be kind to and patient with yourself. Grieving and mourning are hard work, and we all have our own unique journey through grief.
Second, don’t be afraid to reach out to others for help. Sometimes that’s family and friends, and sometimes that’s the staff here at Lory’s Place. We offer support groups, Good Grief sessions, written and online material, and the opportunity to meet one-on-one with a bereavement coordinator. Please give us a call at 269.983.2707.